(This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart).
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ somuch. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. Ihave never figured out why men think with their head and women withtheir heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feellike it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that about?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads tohear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a womanenough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me forwho I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time withher. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, bigunnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried onseveral different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which oneto take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes tocompliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for eachoutfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair ofdiamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must havethought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she wastesting me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't evenknow how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this isall dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don'tfeel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for meto satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, Iadded,'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things Ibuy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that B*tchknows I'm smarter than her.
