Look into my eyes

Well this year so far has been so-so. I'm taking a college class (Managerial Accounting) I barely somewhat understand but have a an awesome friend who is tutoring me. I'm slowly starting to accumulate the camera equipment for my camera. I've bought a tripod, a new 40 mm lens, and custom camera strap (Paisley Maizie). I've been playing around with my new DSLR and trying to learn about it. It's quite an intimidating camera especially if you don't have a clue on how to use it but the class I took and some reading I've done along with Youtube videos have helped me stay out of the Auto focus mode for now.

I plan on revamping my business website, All That MsJazz Hair and Body Products. I also want to revamp my personal website here as well. I want to add new products to my small business and researching new ideas. I already have a few in my head I'm trying to work on. I also want to get in some more vending opportunities but want to make sure I don't put too much pressure on myself. Right now business is slow so I'm taking the time to figure out what direction I want to go with my business and how I can market better.

My right foot is still giving me issues (see previous post) and I need to get back to working out. My body just feels like a huge weight on my lower body. But my mind still seems to be the biggest weight over all. I don't want to sink back into self doubting myself. Dealing with depression is a bitch. Just trying to get things out of my head now.  On another note, I can't wait for next Friday, I'll be going on a mini vacation for 3 days. Lord knows I need it.


Until the next episode....

 All That MsJazz

Frustrations

I just realized this is my first post of the New Year (I think).  This year has already been trying for me and it's only February. On January 5th I decided to go play in a social Volleyball game. I had a great time and for two hours I was having the time of my life. Unfortunately my body afterwards was going nuts saying, you are 35, NOT 15. My feet definitely paid the price. The day after the volleyball game my feet were in so much pain I could barely stand, let alone walk. Yet with my high tolerance for pain, I pushed through thinking the pain was subside eventually. Well last week, I finally broke down and went to my doctor's office and was informed that I have plantar fasciitis in my right foot. This definitely wasn't good news especially since I had started playing volleyball to get myself active again in hopes of losing some weight. I was informed of my options in regards to how to deal with it. Exercises to alleviate the heel pain, a cortisone shot in my heel, or just deal with it. So right now I'm doing ok, as long as I have my tennis shoes on, for the most part, the majority of the pain is gone but I definitely still have some issues with my heel. I'm hoping it will go away eventually.

College.......as much of a high as I was riding on from last semester with my 3 A's, I tell ya, just taking one class this semester that has me so upset and agitated can just bomb your self confidence. I'm taking managerial accounting for the third time and I've come to the conclusion that I have most likely wasted my money in regards to taking this class. I don't understand the concepts, I've read and re-read the materials.  The syllabus for the class is not clear, I'm being bombarded by emails from the professor for the class with other assignments that should have been listed in the syllabus. The online blackboard that we are suppose to use because this is an ONLINE course, no one is active in regards to the discussion boards.

What makes it worse is that I feel stupid in not understanding any of this especially with me having a business. Mind you it's not a big ass corporation but it still is a business. I don't see myself acquiring a business degree because this is just too frustrating. This reminds me of when I first was in college and I wanted to go for computers and my heart was just crushed because I couldn't wrap my mind around Java or Programming and Design. Math in general is a really weak subject for me. Didn't do well in Calculus and I can't stand math word problems. I even bought the Managerial Accounting book for Dummies and I'm still lost.

Dealing with this bullshit is making me remember why I hated school so much in the first place. I have until April to withdraw and not have a bad grade or I can try to withdraw now and try to recoup some of my money, if any back. Overall I'm just pissed. At this point I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I'm just considering if I can get an associate or something because at this point I'm just fucking done. 

Not to mention all this fucking stress has me eating so any healthy habits I was trying to go for, have pretty much gone out the window. Now it's February, my damn birthday month and honestly I don't feel celebrating a damn thing. I thought this year was suppose to be a brand new me, yet I feel like I'm dealing with the same ole bullshit. I need a drink.
 
Until the next episode....

 All That MsJazz