Welp fast forward to today, unfortunately I found out today that my car is not worth fixing and the insurance company of the asshole who hit me, Skylar Martin, wants to total it out..... The emotions I'm feeling right now are not safe for anyone to be around me at this time. This car was the first major purchase that I made by myself. In the past I would have purchased a used car from my mechanic but this time I was convinced to try for something nicer. I did the research for over a few months. From walking car dealerships to looking online to various website. To even building an Excel sheet to house all my information, I had over 10 to 15 cars that I would look for on a daily basis just to narrow it done to eventually 2 and then decided on the one that I would eventually buy.
This purchase was the highlight of my year. Next to passing my Microeconomics class this past fall I was finally feeling as though things were shifting for me. Then the day I get out from work and start my Xmas break this shit happens that same evening. Now I feel like I not even back at square one, I'm just behind like usual. Some people will say it's just a car, like my mom. But for me it was more than that. It was something that really gave me some responsibility that I was proud of. I gave her a name (Zoya), kept it clean, made sure it had its regular schedule maintenance, and go out on drives to see what she could really do.
Now I'm sitting at my laptop upset wondering how much they are going to offer on it and will it be enough to cover the remaining on my loan....This truly has taken the wind out of my sails. My mom asked what we were doing for New Year's Eve, I honestly don't give a fuck nor give shit. I feel like every time I'm doing something to get me going, something always comes through and kicks me back down. When I get ready to look for another car, I probably will go back to my mechanic and just get something cheap. Because I honestly feel if I do another big purchase again, and this goes down again, I will just want to throw the asshole into moving traffic.
I am so sick and tired of feeling like all I'm doing is accumulating just L's..... One thing I have learned...don't get attached to shit...no matter how much you like or love it. You will lose it eventually through your own devices or by someone else's carelessness.
